Asteroid Rape(?) Now a Concern in Attorney General’s Office
A lawsuit has been filed.
In what appears to be a world’s first—an accusation of sexual assault by repeatedly bringing up a sexual fantasy involving forced penetration by an ASTEROID has been made by First Assistant Attorney General Brent Webster, as detailed in a lawsuit filed yesterday.
Asteroid Johnson has entered the chat.
In an email, First Assistant AG Brent Webster requests assistance from Deputy Attorney General for Criminal Justice Josh Reno, on how to handle the threat of a cylindrical asteroid violently anally raping him.
Celestial Chub has entered the chat.
The alleged threat of cylindrical asteroid anal rape, made by now Ex-Texas Solicitor General Judd Stone, was so terrifying that it allegedly caused one female OAG staffer to break down into tears.
Webster would later document that he took Judd Stone to Lupe Tortilla in Austin to “get to know (Stone) better” and after some Tex Mex he determined that the weird discussion, along with the comments of rape via cylindrical asteroid, was enough that Webster felt genuinely threatened for his safety.
For some reason Judd Stone allegedly wanted Webster’s kids to watch?
Galactic Girthlord has entered the chat.
The email from Webster documenting the desires of violent cylindrical asteroid rape can be read in full here:
Many people are wondering how the Texas Department of Public Safety will handle such a threat made against an OAG employee.
Would a nuclear option be on the table? Would it involve Bruce Willis? If Webster happened to be impregnated by the asteroid, would he qualify for an abortion under Texas’ strict abortion laws?
The email specifically mentions that the asteroid is cylindrical in shape, which is odd for an asteroid. Current Revolt spent hours looking for an asteroid that could potentially rape Brent Webster as well as be cylindrical in shape. CNN documented an object in space that could possibly meet this description.
This appears to be a credible threat.
Unfortunately, we now have to worry about these asteroids on top of everything else.
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We need a special session to make sure that school choice cannot be affected by asteroid rape.
Ass-teroid Rape? Kinda sounds like the Ned Beatty scene in Deliverance