Checking in on Texas Democrats

🌙 Did they survive the eclipse?

The track pants of undocumented Democrats crossing the border came swishing to a halt for 4 minutes on Monday, as God blessed Texas with an epic total eclipse.

The sun accomplished what Greg Abbott could not—stop the flow of migrants for 4 minutes!

Could this latest wave of gimmigrants claim asylum based on a lack of eclipse opportunities in their home countries?

Weirder things have happened.

For example, ever heard of Democrats?

Democrat Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee had a hard time enjoying the eclipse due to a malfunction with her personal protective equipment.

I guess Jerome is back, and this time he took the working glasses.

Democrat Chris Turner HD-101 shocked a lot of people when he came out with a complete and total endorsement of Under Armor.

Congressman Greg Casar, who at the time of writing identifies as a “he/him,” went full hippie mode with an eclipse nature walk in sweatpants.

Democrat Gene Wu [HD-137] may have missed the eclipse as he was seen looking in the wrong direction.

Would Democrats stare directly at the sun for a $15 minimum wage? These are policy proposals Republicans should think about.

Democratic Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett, for example, explained she was considering a policy where “black folk don’t have to pay taxes” as a form of reparations.

She said the idea came from a celebrity. Imagine that!

Crockett represents US House District 30, a very large part of Dallas, which is embarrassing considering how dumb of an idea this is and how she apparently gets her political ideas from TikTok.

US House District 30

Unfortunately, Democrats are right that false rumors and misinformation spread like never before during the eclipse. For example, many people shared the following photo that shows a digitally altered photo of Monday’s celestial event, only instead of the moon eclipsing the sun, you see Dade Phelan’s forehead encircled by the corona.

This photo has been analyzed by fact-checking experts and determined to be fake.

As for me personally, I looked right at the eclipse like a man should. It’s perfectly fine to do.

Homeboy knows.

We all know.