Cocaine Monkey Found Near The Border

No, this wasn't a canceled "Cheech and Chong" episode

Because “Cocaine Bear” is too mainstream

If you’ve read us a while, you know about the “monkeying around” at the Texas border, with only Abbott’s saber-rattling and orange pool floaties standing between us and third world invaders. In yet another twist, Mexico isn’t just bringing rapists, drugs, and crime but also *checks notes* monkeys. So far, the details seem hairy.

Via My RGV:

The stop resulted in the arrest of Sergio Nunez de Caceres-Benavides, born in 1998, and Alexis Reyes-Andrade, born in 1995, both of Mexico.

They are charged with possession of a controlled substance with the intent to distribute.

A criminal complaint said a “Hidalgo County Canine Deputy” conducted a traffic stop at approximately 2 p.m. Monday on a 2007 silver Jeep Commander.

…

“From the passenger window, Task Force Officers with the Canine Deputy observed a small black monkey concealed in an open bag by Reyes’ feet,” the complaint stated. “The monkey was wrapped in a blanket and restrained with brown packing tape.”

Both individuals were then removed from the vehicle and authorities recovered the monkey.

A K-9 then alerted to the presence of narcotics in the vehicle.

“During the search, a black toolbox was located in the back seat behind Caceres,” the complaint stated. “Two square bundles wrapped in clear packaging were found inside the toolbox.”

…

“Caceres further admitted that he planned to sell the cocaine for approximately $23,200.00 and the monkey for approximately $3,500.00,” the complaint stated.

Of course, this is just what’s been caught. In light of our porous border under the Kamala Occupation Government (KOG), with America forced to ape California’s immigration policies, who knows what else has been smuggled in. In fact, McAllen has a history of people trying to traffic monkeys across the border. The issue apparently got so rampant that a local zoo collected donations to care for those found and rescued by border patrol. This situation has many going “apesh*t.”

Is anyone really shocked by this? If illegal aliens can’t obey laws getting into Texas, why would they suddenly care once they get here, even if said laws involve animal welfare? Surprisingly, there’s been little outrage from the furry community from the abuses inflicted against their cousins.

Luckily, 45th + 47th President Donald Trump will end the flow of monkeys into Texas. Some I assume are good primates, but monkey trafficking, and emboldening the border hordes is never ok. Sorry, but this even applies to Boots.