Briscoe Cain is seeking redemption and forgiveness for voting to allow Democrats to chair committees by filing a hilarious bill which will, according to science, save infinity more lives than wearing a mask.

Partnering with the extremely fit Kyle Biedermann, Cain has filed HB343 to stop the real pandemic of baby mommas snacking on chips and soda all day.

The bill bans using welfare to buy energy drinks, chips, and soy milk. Nobody should be drinking soy milk.

You know who doesn’t drink soy milk?

I’ll give you 1836 guesses.

Now is the time for the science-deniers at Living Blue to join together with the hardline moderates of Current Revolt and call for Kyle Biedermann to add banning snacks to his TEXIT bill.

With this truly bipartisan effort for TEXIT combined with banning snacks, we will Make Texas Great Again!