Is Texas DOGE a Scam?

You get one guess.

Texas politicians of all types, but particularly at the state level, get away with identity theft. They move to Texas, buy cowboy boots, throw up various star-themed home decor. They might even try out the accent. Texas becomes their persona in the public space when politicking, and the politician is able to leverage the legend of Texas to bolster their own personal brand. This is both tragic and unavoidable. However, many people are saying the latest scam featuring compounding identity thefts is really stretchin’ the blanket.

Texas politicians are notorious for being the 21st state to pass some piece of conservative legislation, and then claim they are leading because they are Texas. However, for the first time in recent history, there is activity at the federal level that Texas Republicans want to copy. No, I’m not talking about the new “Obamacare for schools” school choice plan. I’m talking about DOGE.

We assume the reader knows about DOGE—the department named after a dog meme, tasked with carrying out the policies elected Republicans always promised to do, but never did. DOGE (pronounced DOZH, doʊʒ) is doing a lot of great and hilarious work punishing our abusers and taking power away from a government that tried to destroy us and kill our President.

Giovanni Capriglione announced that Texas was stealing the idea of DOGE and he was leading the effort by tweeting out an AI image of a dodgeball along with a quote from the movie Dodgeball, which he altered slightly. It’s not clear how dodgeballs are in any way related to DOGE.

Capriglione, whose origins before coming to Texas are largely unknown, is currently serving his 7th term in the Texas House.

Earlier this week, the Tarrant County Republican Party met and debated on whether Capriglione, Charlie Geren, and John McQueeny should be censured for being RINOs.

The speakers in favor of the censuring Capriglione exceeded the maximum allowed, and included prominent local Republican leaders. Capriglione was not present to face the unhappy Republican base. Instead, he had a lawyer speak on his behalf!

Precinct Chair Leigh Wambsganss was in attendance, and asked if the man defending Capriglione was being paid with tax dollars or campaign dollars to speak at the meeting. The lawyer reportedly only admitted to not having been paid “yet.”

The censure was eventually tabled, and the language is reportedly being reworked.

The mouthpiece for Capriglione was identified as Eric Opiela, a lawyer who previously stole the Texas identity when he suddenly turned into a cowboy to run for Texas Agriculture Commissioner. In reality, he was a lawyer for ex-Speaker Joe Straus. Are you noticing a pattern?

Capriglione also sent out expensive mailers to the voters he refused to meet with, letting them know he was doing DOGE.

No Dodgeball quotes on the expensive mailers. We will examine the claims on this mailer in a bit.

Dustin Burrows recently announced that DOGE would be “making headlines” every week, as if headlines in and of themselves will help the situation.

“I spoke with him yesterday. He has already found great, great opportunities,” … “I predict Gio is going to make headlines every single month and week that he is in there for the next two years rooting out waste, fraud, and abuse. And I'm really excited to see what he does.”

So what exactly is he planning on doing?

Capriglione posted that he’s hiring some egg-head AI genius for DOGE, and wants the candidate to have an expertise in everything, fueling speculation that Capriglione plans to give himself broad investigative authority into whatever he wants.

He states that it is not a taxpayer-funded position. If that is the case, is this his personal hacker working for his interest projects? Will his personal contractor be given access to State systems? That’s weird.

The model of the federal DOGE is to launch investigations into known criminals in the executive branch of the federal government. This was something one could argue many people voted for when they elected Donald Trump as the head of the executive.

Capriglione is merely one State Representative out of 150, and it’s safe to say nobody voted for him to lead a directionless investigations unit with AI tools.

Let’s look at what he said again about Texas DOGE’s priorities.

He is saying 2 of his 3 priorities are to cut regulations and “increase transparency” which is another way of saying “make new regulations.” The other item is the throwaway “protect tax dollars,” which everyone promises.

I propose to the reader that it’s quite a hoax to say your top priority is to both cut regulations generally and make new regulations at the same time, and for this task you are looking for a private hacker to help.

In fact, I propose that some of these 7-termers like Capriglione are very dangerous right now, emboldened by Dustin Burrows.

Capriglione just sent a letter to the voters he refused to face in person stating he is going to cut regulations with the aid of his personal helper. However, his actions prove he is mostly focused on creating more regulations that benefit him.

Capriglione recently filed a gargantuan bill regulating the use of AI by businesses in Texas. If regulation stifles innovation, then Giovanni Capriglione is trying to snuff the baby out in the crib.

Not only is it 44 pages long and one of the heaviest-handed regulations imaginable, it even proposes a new regulatory agency!

His bill, which should be called the AI Innovation Prevention Act, steals it’s bill number from the name of the road that runs through Southlake and Keller, 1709.

Once again, a politician links something great about Texas to something terrible about themselves, and Texas suffers.

Giovanni Capriglione can’t even get the meme right for his own committee. His AI images are so dry I’m spittin’ cotton, and his mailers don’t even have his Dodgeball quotes—but his consultant’s doublespeak!

If you see someone using AI and they suck at using it, and then they suddenly want to regulate everyone else using it—uhhh—yep, that’s a red flag.

Giovanni Capriglione is totally toxic, and DOGE appears to be some scheme concocted to prop him up. He will also be able to launch DOGE “investigations” against his enemies, as that is what the federal DOGE is all about. I suspect that is what you will see from Texas DOGE.

I’m not going to hate on Gio for trying to use the state government to pump up his Bitcoin wallet, which he appears to be doing. It’s blowing off voters for a decade and running these personal scams that is a bit much.