King-Doctor Abbott Declares Texas Still Not Safe To Stand While Drinking.
As the Wu Hu virus deaths reach 12 octillion gorjillion in the state of Texas, Abbott has determined it is still not safe to stand while drinking.
Science tells us that the virus completely flies over those who sit and eat while those who stand need to wear mask over their face in order to avoid getting sick from the most dangerous virus that mankind has ever seen in the history of anything.
Capacity has also been raised along with the opening of long term care facilities for visitation but this has to wait until Monday because the virus is going on vacation starting Monday.
Abbott also took time to remember those who have been hurt economically by the rules he put in place. He feels bad for them but his lockdown was necessary otherwise every single Texan would have died from this very totally serious flu.
Abbott also noted that we need to be on our best behavior or else he’s gonna lock everything down again and then we’ll only have 24067645 days to slow the spread of covid.