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Meet The Mommies Trying to Take Texan’s Guns
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Meet The Mommies Trying to Take Texan’s Guns

Most people don’t realize they need another mommy.

Tommy Oliver
Dec 7, 2022
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Meet The Mommies Trying to Take Texan’s Guns
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Texas mommies are not doing a good job at being mommies. All they do is eat chip, drive SUV, twerk, charge they phone, scroll insta and lie.

Thankfully, democracy has provided us with additional mommies who will take care of us.

Here are the top mommies who want to abuse Texans with weird new gun rules.

The summary of the bills are in bold for our common core readers.

#1. Joe Moody

Political Party: Democrat
Leans: Organized Crime Traditionalist

Joe Moody has filed HB22, which is a softcore gun registration program. The proposed law states that whenever a Texan purchases an arbitrary amount of firearms or firearm accessories, the person gets put on a list by the government.

Hey, Joe. How about I put you on a list?

A list of who is not my mommy!

#貳 Gene Wu

Political Party: Democrat
Leans: Dixiecrat (of China)

Gene has filed HB533 which relates to something that could be categorized as a type of red flag law. This proposed law expands the powers of police during warrantless arrests to seize firearms. The firearms must be in “plain view” and firearms taken based on a police officer’s judgment that a person is “mentally ill.”

The basis for being determined to be “mentally ill” can be as little as a statement from a “credible person” to law enforcement claiming a person is mentally ill. Certainly this credibility test would apply to any Democrat official. Browsing Wu’s Twitter makes it clear he believes anyone who believes in the first and second amendment or is against forced injections is mentally ill.

  • No due process

  • Gun grabbing

  • Thought policing

  • Loss of bodily autonomy

It’s all a little too CCP-ish for my taste.

tfw Gene gets ur guns

Are you my mother, Gene?

#3. Terry Meza

Political Party: Democrat
Leans: idk like a creepy Goblin or something

Terry has filed HB 817, which is just your basic bitch “assault weapon” ban.

They are not “assault weapons,” Terry. These are our rifles. The rifles owned by Americans.

Whatever. I can’t even look at her. Definitely not my mommy.

#4 Shawn Thierry

Twitter avatar for @RepThierry146
State Representative Shawn Thierry @RepThierry146
Repping for my beloved District 146 at the NBSCL (National Black Caucus of State Legislators) Annual Conference in Vegas. Waiting to board my flight while having a Texas margarita. Looking forward to a successful conference. Traveling grace appreciated. ✈️🙏🏽 💙
Image
11:41 PM ∙ Nov 30, 2022
7Likes1Retweet

Political Party: Democrat
Leans: Thicc Left, Big Black Caucus

Representing an extremely poor district that is gerrymandered to hell , Representative Shawn Thierry has filed HB447. The bill seeks to use taxation to increase the cost of firearms by 1,000%!

A 1000% tax on firearms would disproportionally harm Black Americans because studies show they can’t do mathematics to figure out how much money that is. However, I literally don’t care about that because I don’t want to pay 1000% more to buy guns either.

Shawn, you are not the mamma!

#5 Ron Reynolds

Political Party: Democrat
Leans: White collar crime but Big Black Caucus

Ron Reynolds has filed HB 761, which will make it illegal for Texans under 21 years of age to have a rifle.

Not cool — big gay!

Ron is not our mommy. We have a much better mommy already, whom we love.

#6 Julie Johnson

Political Party: Democrat
Leans: Aggressive Groomer

Lesbian activist Julie Johnson has filed HB 544 which would seek to strengthen the instant ban of purchasing a weapon when someone has been convicted of a domestic violence crime.

This is curious because this would seem to disproportionately target lesbians, as they are the most prolific in doing domestic violence.

Whatever. Def not my mommy.

#7 Lina Ortega

Obviously not reading the constitution

Political Party: Democrat
Leans: Mexican, Virus Left

Lina Ortega, whose website states her office is still closed indefinitely due to Covid, has filed a HB 216 which would make carrying a rifle in public illegal. This is a dramatic change as the open carrying of rifles without a license has been the norm in Texas for a long time, with the exception being Texas under military occupation after being conquered by the Federal Government.

#8 Vikki Goodwin

Political Party: Democrat
Leans: Wine & White Woman Left

With at least 12 gun control bills filed already, Vikki Goodwin is Mommy in Chief of the Texas Legislature.

Here are just a few of the bills she has filed in support of her agenda to be your mommy.

HB 236 would ban private transfers of firearms unless one of the persons involved is a federally licensed dealer. This would necessarily create a gun registration. The law makes no sense without a universal gun registration up front, so they would likely try and add one if this was passed into law. However, they wouldn’t need to do it right away, because all firearms would eventually be registered as people die and the guns must be transferred.

HB 856 would require that anyone conducting business with firearms put up an unsightly sign in English and Spanish with this very off-putting and negative message.

ACCESS TO A FIREARM IN THE HOME SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASES THE RISK OF SUICIDE, HOMICIDE, DEATH DURING DOMESTIC DISPUTES, AND UNINTENTIONAL DEATHS OF CHILDREN, HOUSEHOLD MEMBERS, AND OTHERS. IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE IS EXPERIENCING DISTRESS AND/OR DEPRESSION

Pretty cringe.

But this idea shouldn’t be easily discarded. Republicans should start putting warnings on various things. They could put notices on gas station pumps that state CARBON DIOXIDE IS A TRACE GAS & ESSENTIAL TO LIFE ON EARTH, or put a notice on birth control boxes that the pills will significantly alter a women’s behavior and cause all kinds of health problems.

Something to think about.

Honorable Mention:

Democrat Nicole Collier’s bill HB 408 would allow more criminals to carry guns, which is based.

Republican Jared Patterson’s HB 636 would allow election judges to carry guns at polling locations. Also based.


Even though these Democrats want to take our guns, we still love them and want nothing but the best for them.

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