FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

On the fifteenth day of September, in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty, and the year of the Republic of Texas the one hundredth and eighty-sixth, Governor-Doctor Greg Abbott proclaimed by decree that all Texans should get vaccinated against the flu.

Doctor Abbott’s medical advice was to to “Go get a flu shot”, Current Revolt has decided to require daily flu shots for all staff.

Abbott couldn’t possibly be wrong

Current Revolt’s janitorial staff was the first to beta-test our new daily flu vaccination requirement and we’re happy to report that Spencer is doing just fine!

CR Janitor, Spencer Wintheiser, showing off where he receives his daily flu jab

The flu shot is the most important thing you can do to extend your life. This life extension technology has no downsides and literally unlimited upsides. Heck, why do you think they’re free?

There is no law saying you can’t get a flu shot (or several) every single day. Studies suggest this actually protects you better. Due to his high risk of exposure, along with him being generally better and more important than you, Greg Abbott has received hundreds of flu shots since the coronavirus pandemic began. He’s actually doing great.

Abbott receives several flu shots per day

Current Revolt is known for pushing boundaries, and the health and safety of our staff is our top priority. The 2020 coronavirus pandemic has killed more humans in 9 months than were previously ever born in all of human history. Don’t be a statistic. Protect yourself.

Per Abbot’s Direction: Current Revolt Now…