Campaign finance reports are out and we’ve got the SCOOP on candidates’ goofy spending habits.
Today we reveal who dotted their I’s and F’d their A’s. Strap on and strap in, because it’s gonna be a wild one.
TRUCK: LOUIE GOHMERT
Louie Gohmert spent $65,000 on a campaign vehicle, potentially a Ford.
And of course, with Louie being the big time baller that he is he wouldn’t be caught in the low trim model. Louie likely opted for an Expedition Limited MAX.
Louie also opted for the built-in wi-fi feature cuz if you’re a baller you also gotta be connected—always.
BABYSITTING: LACEY HOLE
Current Revolt favorite and Conservative FMA Champion, Lacey Hull, is a busy woman. Lacey has opted to use donor money to pay her cousin for babysitting during potential overnights at random Houston and Austin Hotels.
We’ve heard Lacey’s actually lives with her cousin, Coby Lyons, so could this potentially be a TEC violation? We’re just asking questions here.
60 COVID TESTS: GEORGE PEE BUSH
COVID test kits run around $9.99 per kit and Bush has purchased $600 worth. This totals to about 60 COVID test kits. Hoarding territory? We haven’t seen COVID test kit purchases on literally any other campaign, so this is a funny one for sure.
LIME SCOOTER RIDES: JEFF LEACH
$381 on scooter rides from July through December. That’s a lot of scootering.
We did the math. Assuming a $1 unlock rate and $0.29 per minute, Jeff Leach could have theoretically spent 1,310 minutes, or over 21 hours, on a Lime scooter.
Given an average speed of around 12 miles per hour, Jeff could have traveled from Dallas to Houston on scooter.
FMA?: DADE PHELAN
GOP speaker of the house and Transgender Avenger superstar, Dade Phelan, pledged a $25,000 donation to Lacey Hull, likely hoping to score some FMA.
Phelan also spent $19,200 running a poll for Hull. We’ve heard the poll questionnaire asked who was actually on the receiving end of the FMA: Hull or Hefner?
$3,600 HOTEL STAY: MICHELLE BECKLEY
Michelle Beckley, a candidate for lieutenant governor, and known health fanatic, is a member of the Democrat insurrectionists that fled Texas back in July over some voting bill or something. Michelle, never one to miss a free meal, spent $3,653 on a hotel stay. We hear the majority of that was spent on room service Caesar salads.
BONUS: PATHETIC FUNDRAISING
BLM supporter, Gay Republican Club fan, and Young Republican Southern Vice Chair, Hayden Padgett had a miserable fundraising performance. Since he’s been, quite literally, preparing to run for office his entire life, it’s shocking that he has only raised a measly $3,703 in the time period covered by this campaign finance report. This is probably the reason that Padgett has yet to do any sign purchases and spent only $274 in the last 20 days.
Even fake Republican Matt Pastrami managed to scrounge together more donations and spend more than Padgett.
A good chunk of Padgett’s spending was on Christmas parties and out of district hotel stays for “policy meetings.”
We also tell our tax guy that all of our hotel stays and trips “business related expenses.”
Padgett has been completely MIA from conservative events in Collin County, and was a no show for the Lara Trump event held in his area. Republicans we’ve spoken to cited Padgett’s obsession with the Log Cabin Republicans and his love of Black Lives Matter as reasons for not putting their support behind him.
Padgett also received an endorsement from the LIBRE Initiative, a leftist organization and pro-amnesty group, and has refused to reject the endorsement. Republicans we spoke to have asked Padgett about the endorsement and he has opted to defend the leftist organization and embrace the endorsement.
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