Committee assignments were released today for the 87th legislative session in the Texas House. For those who don’t know, House committees are where bills are assigned after they are filed. Bills must make it out of committee before they can be voted on by the entire body and passed into law. The Chairmen and members of each committee are chosen by the Speaker of the House.
The Speaker of the House is currently Dade Phelan, a real life reptilian.
The most hilarious committee change was to the appropriations committee, where previous Chairman, Republican Giovanni Capriglione, has been replaced by disgraced former Speaker Dennis Bonnen’s little brother, another reptilian by the name of Greg Bonnen.
The old Snake from Southlake, Giovanni Capriglione has spent the last 5 years blocking the people who helped get him elected on social media. In fact, it’s so bad that in the 2018 primary election, the people who ran his 2012 campaign were making videos and issuing apologies to the public for getting him elected in the first place because he sucks so bad.
So now this guy Capriglione has totally alienated his base, has been leapfrogged in the power structure by an even bigger traitor, and of course leftists think he’s a white devil.
So I hope it was worth it to sell out for this State Rep gig that pays $7,200 a year.
Hilariously, Giovanni is the big “ethics” champion.
But the corruption in this situation with Phelan and the Bonnen brothers is truly next-level. Will Giovanni talk about the ethics of this? For some reason, I doubt he has the balls.
A political ally of the outgoing House Speaker Dennis Bonnen, [Dade] Phelan is also a part-owner of Third Coast Bank SSB of Humble, which acquired Bonnen’s Heritage Bank of Pearland last year. Phelan’s brother Lan Phelan is a director of Third Coast.
The bank merger made Bonnen vice chairman of Third Coast.
So the Bonnen’s and Phelans are like mafia families with business deals everywhere, and access to power “coincidently” coinciding with the acquisition of their banks.
But there is hope.
There is not hope for this 87th legislative session. This session is going to be a screw job (confirmed by time travel).
But there is hope to laugh, as Giovanni Capriglione was removed as Chairman of the Appropriations Committee and Mary Gonzalez made the new Vice Chair.
From her Wikipedia:
Mary Edna González (born October 30, 1983) is an American politician who serves as state representative of House District 75 in the Texas House of Representatives. She is a Democrat who was elected in November 2012 to represent an area that includes east El Paso County, parts of the city of El Paso and the towns of Socorro, Clint, Fabens, Horizon City, San Elizario and Tornillo. She is also the first openly pansexual elected official in the United States.
I know what you’re thinking, pansexual what’s that?
I don’t really know what pansexual is either, but it’s weird as heck.
The term doesn’t have a “history” section on Wikipedia, ostensibly because it’s a concept that was invented 5 seconds ago.
Pansexual does have a logo, which is pretty cool because it looks like the logo of a cryptocurrency.
“Pansexuality” appears to be some kind of deviant condition whereby you get sexually attracted to people at random.
I have read extensively on this topic, reading the first two paragraphs of the pansexual Wikipedia page over and over trying to parse through the technical language and figure out exactly what they like to do with their genitals and how this genital hobby is now their identity.
It does appear that pansexuals limit their sexual activity exclusively to people.
So props to them for leaving the animals out of their sexual escapades.