Buffalo Goes Deathcon 3 on White Woman in Texas Park
If Beto wins, the animals will start a civil war.
A group of buffalo were having a meeting and discussing my latest article about Gene Wu’s gun control plan, when suddenly one of the animals snapped and took out its aggression on what it perceives to be the main enabling force for gay third world communism in Texas — middle-aged white women.
Many people are saying the woman called the buffalo a “bison.” The animal then said, “YO LISTEN B, U CAN’T SAY THAT! THAT’S OUR WORD!”
Talk about ‘big if true.’
Whatever happened, the lady seems to have enjoyed the experience.
Whatever the animal’s political views, all we can definitively say is that the whole situation was extremely Texas.
The animals are turning
Many people speculate the buffalo tried to murder the woman for the same reason many Texan’s animals are pissed — Democrats are trying to build those disgusting windmills everywhere in order to abolish summers with their global cooling agenda.
I happen to like summertime, and I bet these buffalo like summers too.
So we either get Greg Abbott, who, *granted* will still allows summer to happen, but who also works with the Democrats to bring power-grid crippling winter storms on us. Or we have Beto, who has promised to create a new ice age in order to stop the earth from warming, permanently freezing most land north of Texas by forcing you drive a duel motor electric sports car.
But there’s good news! We don’t have a binary choice for governor. We have a serious third contender in this Texas election.
Unfortunately, the candidate with the sure path to victory was Big Dick Ric, the Jewish-Mexican new-ager that was going to abolish the constitution and run society using an app he created, but apparently he is no longer an option. Ballotpedia lists Ricardo Turullols-Bonilla as a “withdrawn or disqualified candidate.”
I hope this is not true, as I was betting my entire future on a Big Ric governorship.
Current Revolt was planning on a coup on Governor Ric by just pretending we understood what all this meant, and then we could use our access to program the app to rate ourselves highly.
Unfortunately, it looks like Big Swinging Ric is out.
I’m looking at the Green Party Candidate, Delilah Barrios.
I really like her necklace. I think I will be voting for this chick from the Green Party for Texas governor.
Election Day is November 8th!