Texas Republicans Prepare Third Sharia Ban, Promise This One Will Work
Third ban's the charm.
Some good news out of Plano: Sharia law is not coming to Texas.
The bad news is the reason.
"Do not fear. Sharia is not coming to the US. And the reason it is not coming to the US is because it is already here."
That's from the Islamic Association of Collin County's open house on July 18, an event called "Understanding Islam & Shariah: Myths vs Facts," which drew about a hundred Texans with the promise of dialogue, understanding, and a free lunch.
About that lunch:
"Right now as you eat your lunch, you are part of the practice of Sharia by Muslims."
Incredible. A hundred Texans walked in for the free food and walked out as practitioners of Islamic law. No paperwork, no conversion, no baptism. The lunch was load-bearing. Somewhere in Plano right now there is a man who has no idea he ate three Sharias and took a fourth one home in a to-go box.
The event was hosted by WhyIslam Dallas, GainPeace, and ICNA Dallas, and per the Dallas Express the featured speaker was Dr. Sabeel Ahmed, director of GainPeace. The pitch was pure infomercial. Sharia is "a beautiful guidance from Allah." It strengthens families. It fights immorality. It feeds the hungry. It's basically the Constitution, but with better catering:
"If the US Constitution says that every human is equal, all the races are equal, that is part of the Sharia."
The Constitution definitely says none of that.
Meanwhile, there was one man at the event who actually lived under Sharia. Edwin Isagholi, an Iranian-born Christian, stood outside on the sidewalk warning people what this stuff looks like when it graduates from catering to governing.
Anyway. If you're feeling nervous right now, don't be. You live in Texas, the state that bans Sharia recreationally. Nobody bans Sharia like Texas. We've done it twice, and we're stretching for a third.
Ban number one came in 2017, when Governor Abbott signed HB 45 and headlines nationwide announced Texas had outlawed Sharia law. Fun fact about the famous Texas Sharia ban: the word Sharia is not in it. Neither is Islam. It's a rule that Texas judges can't apply foreign law in divorce and custody cases. That's it. That's the ban. It banned Sharia the way your gym membership bans body fat: technically related to the subject, but come on.
Ban number two came last September, after the EPIC City fight in Collin County, when Abbott held a signing ceremony in Fairview for HB 4211 and declared the end of "Sharia compounds" in Texas:
No neighborhood in Texas is governed by Sharia law,” Abbott said. “Texas law and Texas courts govern those businesses and those neighborhoods.” -Greg Abbott
The bill has no idea what he’s talking about. HB 4211 mentions no religion at all. It’s a fair housing amendment: religious organizations that own more than 25 acres can’t put faith-based resale restrictions on home lots. Keep your caliphate under 25 acres and you’re zoned residential.
But the TV said BANNING SHARIA LAW, and a million Texans went to bed being defended by an HOA regulation.
So let’s be precise about what the goofy Republican position actually is, because it has been implied for a decade and it deserves to be said out loud.
The Muslims can stay. Everyone’s clear on that. Legal residents, citizens, welcome to Texas, land of religious liberty. They just can’t be Muslim. No Sharia here. And Sharia, according to the man at the Plano open house, is the lunch. The charity. The prayers. The family rules. The religion, in other words. The practicing of it.
That’s the platform. Keep the Muslims, ban the Islam.
Think about how that works for five seconds, which is four seconds longer than anyone in Austin has. The scary parts of Sharia are already illegal in Texas. Stoning people is murder. Amputating hands is aggravated assault. Marrying children is banned. Slavery has been out for a minute. Killing someone for leaving a religion is killing someone. Every punishment on that list is already a felony in Texas, for everybody, no special ban required.
And the other parts of Sharia? Yeah, the First Amendment does not come with an asterisk. No legislature in America can ban religion, and every lawyer in Austin knows it. Most homeless people as well.
Which means a “Sharia ban” can only ever be one of two things: crimes that are already crimes, or a scam. There is no third thing. That’s why Texas has passed two Sharia bans and the word Sharia appears in neither. It’s not sloppy drafting. It’s the only way one can be written.
The customers were promised the Islamization of Texas would be stopped. The customers are starting to check the receipt.
We now turn to our senior Austin Arizona correspondent, Rob Schneider for some reason.
“Mufti Dan Patrick" is now canon, by the way.
He raises a fair point. Nobody has proven this photo fake.