As 2020 is coming to an end, parts of Texas are locking down again, business owners are struggling to stay alive, and unemployment remains a huge problem. But as you know, we can count on our elected officials to save the day with bold, heroic action.
One of those elected officials is Matt Shaheen and he is working very hard on a bill that will help Texans out.
Behold, Shaheen’s bill will protect you from being called a racist and getting sued if you call the police on your non-white neighbor that you think is potentially a mass shooter or bomber or something.
If you’re reading this and wondering what this law would do for the average Texan currently suffering from either the physical, mental, or fiscal effects of COVID and it’s lockdowns, you’re obviously too stupid to understand the genius in Matt’s bill. Frankly, we at Current Revolt also didn’t understand it either as our elected officials are “down in Austin” and we’re up here not-in-Austin. At face value this bill seems very empty and a virtue signal to get some brownie points in but it can’t possibly be this.
Current Revolt’s legal team has spent the last 24 hours reviewing this bill and now has a theory as to why Shaheen would, at this very critical time in Texas history, push this bill. It’s brilliant really:
Shaheen is predicting that COVID will be mutating into a strain that will cause it to become a terrorist or mass shooter.
It’s truly genius. An average IQ person would wonder why Matt Shaheen would waste time, money, and resources on a bill like this, but Shaheen has it all figured out. As this new COVID strain mutates it will acquire weapons and begin plotting mass terror attacks. Shaheen’s bill prevents an average Texan from getting into trouble from calling police to investigate COVID’s terrorist activities.
Shaheen’s new bill will save billions of Texans lives.
And remember…if you see something, say something.