Total Muslim Victory: “ALL” Islamic Schools Accepted for $chool Choice in Texas

Dollar dollar bills y’all.

by Tommy Paine

Texas Republicans thought they had the perfect solution to Muslim schools qualifying for their new voucher program: declare institutions full of children to be key components of “transnational criminal organizations.”

You might be shocked to learn that this strategy did not work. The stunt has officially collapsed, generating enormous advertisement about free tax money for Islamic schools as it imploded. All they did was give the Muslims exactly the leverage they needed to pressure Texas into extending the signup deadline so even more of them could apply. Republicans’ efforts to exclude Muslim schools from the voucher program resulted in more Muslim schools receiving taxpayer funding. Mission accomplished.

Now the Arabs are on the offensive. Ethnically united, they are eager to repay the hospitality of the morons who foolishly let them through the door.

Texas Tribune:

Comptroller’s office: All eligible Islamic schools approved

The Texas comptroller’s office said Tuesday that it has approved all eligible Islamic schools that applied to participate in the voucher program.

It was 0% approved. Then it was 100% approved. That is the complete vetting history.

Travis Pillow, a spokesperson for the comptroller, said the office has sent registration links to all Islamic schools that applied and that meet the state’s baseline requirements, which include being accredited and having operated for at least two years.

He sent the link. There is no unsending it now.

Judge denies request for another deadline extension

Bennett, the federal judge overseeing the case, on Tuesday denied Islamic schools’ and Muslim families’ request that he extend the voucher application deadline to April 14.

The court granted the Mohammedans 14 extra days to apply for their Islamic financial aid, but apparently the judge found 28 days to be inappropriate.

Four Muslim parents and three Islamic private school providers that operate four campuses had sued Texas leaders for excluding the schools over unsubstantiated terrorism allegations while accepting hundreds of other non-Islamic schools.

The lawsuit asks the court to block the voucher program from discriminating on the basis of religion.

The terrorism thing was so dumb, and given the timing of it, it appears to have been nothing more than a massive rigging of the primary election to protect incumbents who told us how great this idea was to have universal Madrasa choice.

Nobody on the right apparently thought to skip the terrorism angle entirely and just do what the left does: manufacture a concept from nothing and insist it’s been a cornerstone of American values since 1776. The angle I would have gone with is to say something like Conquorism is not “who we are” and that anyone linked to conquorism and groups linked with conquest are evil.

The key thing is not to think about it too much and just repeat it. If the right wants to build a cult of NPC’s who rule with an iron fist of weird slogans, we really need to step it up. Yes, not allowing Arabs to become citizens is the simple strategy that America used for 200 years, but that is like, just so mean and stuff. Terrorism didn’t work, because terrorism is a real concept with an actual definition, so Texans have to get more creative with their policies, and must start creating new words quickly.

Make sure you get emotional if anyone asks you to explain this new word in any depth. Also, have some kind of diversion preferably a stink bomb or possibly some kind of pyrotechnic to create a diversion to escape so you can avoid having to explain your new belief system.

It’s up to all of us. Drop your new word in the comments and explain how it will save Texas.