Coronavirus Vaccine uses Novel Technique to Create Immunity
There’s been a lot of misinformation about the upcoming coronavirus vaccine. Most of the misinformation originates from uneducated Trump supporters. What they don’t understand is science. You can do anything with science.
Consider this— just a few years ago, scientists believed there were only two genders. Now, the science is settled. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of genders.
Now, the same scientists who cracked the code on gender identity (and discovered men can be transformed into women by giving them anabolic steroids and putting pronouns in their social media bio) have created a magic potion that will cure this horrible pandemic and end the scourge of COVID-19 once and for all.
America’s extreme diversity allows it to draw upon the strengths of various identity politics groups to solve complex problems. Naturally, the COVID-19 vaccine has come from the LGBT community.
First, scientists wearing official lab coats cultured bacteria samples from the saliva of gay men. Trillions of undiscovered species of bacteria and viruses with unique properties were replicated and sequenced. Scientists then put on scientific goggles and another lab coat and reverse-engineering these bacteria and spliced it with the genetic code of a monkey.
They amplified the appropriate DNA, put markers on the genes, applied a little inclusion and equity training and voila! We have the cure, ladies and gentlemen.
The key to the vaccine’s mechanism of action is the ability to use nature to fight against nature. Essentially, the coronavirus is targeted by the genetically engineered vaccine and the virus’s ability to reproduce is neutralized. Using an optical fluoresce microscope, we can see the anti-coronavirus agent below, magnified to 1000x.
The vaccine enters the body and lies in wait. Once the virus is detected, the vaccine springs into action. The vaccine will lure the virus towards a specialized cell structure.
Once the virus is inside the body, the vaccine will violently and repeatedly molest the COVID-19 virus.
After the attack, the virus will turn into a recluse for several months. Often the virus will cut off communication to friends and family. Viruses around it will notice a change in its behavior. Some COVID-19 will consider seeing a therapist, but most will self-medicate.
After a period of years, studies show that the virus will very likely identify as a homosexual and will never reproduce. Thus, experts claim inoculation against the virus protects individuals and public health. By turning the virus gay, we are protected from its reproduction.
I had faith in science, and science hath delivered us from the pandemic.